Not Now, Not Ever
by LoveTiva
Summary: A one-shot from the aftermath of Berlin (10x21).


"_You know, I keep thinking if it was not for Orli, things would have been different. I would be a different person." She said with tears streaming down her face. _

"_Then I should catch her before she leaves." He said taking her hand and intertwining his fingers with hers. "You know. And thank her." He smiled that DiNozzo smile that always made her melt._

_They looked at each other for a long moment, before he turned his gaze back to the road. The car moved forward, before she spoke again._

"_Tony…"She said staring at him with a smile._

"_Yeah - Ziva!" He looked to Ziva's side and saw the headlights of the oncoming car. It hit her side sending the car spinning, before coming to an abrupt stop. The horn of the other car was blaring in the night._

_He reached for her hand, barely touching hers, before his went limp. Everything went black._

"Zi! Ziva!" He was practically screaming at her, while trying to unbuckle his seatbelt. It nearly seemed impossible because the lock wasn't budging. Worst of all he had a deep gash on his hand that was burning with each passing second. He didn't care about his own injuries because all he could focus on was her. Sure he probably had a concussion and broken ribs, but he didn't care. His own injuries were protesting at him to stop moving, but he couldn't. His head was pounding and his limbs felt heavy, but no matter what he needed to help her. He always would help her.

"Ziva! Please, please just open your eyes and look at me!" He pleaded at her. He got nothing from her and it was scaring him. He needed her to open her eyes. He needed to see her beautiful chocolate brown eyes. He needed to know that life was still worth living because she was still here with him. He wasn't going to go down without a fight and most importantly without her. He needed her. He always needed her. He needed her the moment she stepped into NCIS all those years ago. It just took him a while to figure it out. He continued to fumble with the seatbelt, but it was no use. He wasn't going to stop fighting for her. He would never stop fighting for her. She was it for him. She was the love of his life.

They were finally starting to go somewhere after Berlin. Things were said between the two of them. They had danced and practically melted into each other. They were right for each other and everyone knew it. It just took them a while to figure it out. He finally felt like they could take their relationship to the next level. He wanted to do so many things with her. He wanted to kiss her the way she deserved to be kissed. He wanted her to wake up next to him every morning. He wanted to love her for simply being her. He had so many plans for them. It couldn't end like this. It wouldn't end like this. He wasn't going to allow her to die. Not like this because if she died he was going with her. He had no point to live without her. She was it and would always be it for him.

"Don't you dare do this! Ziva! You are not going to do this!" He was scared because she still wasn't responding to him at all. "Don't you dare die! You can't die!" Fresh tears were starting to blur his vision, making it harder to get this damn seatbelt undone. He was pleading that she would wake up. Hoping this was a dream. Hoping this wasn't his fault because it sure felt like it was.

He looked over at her for a split second. Her head was resting lazily on her shoulder. He could see the blood dripping down the sides of her face from the gash along her forehead. He couldn't tell what other injuries she had. She just looked so pale and lifeless. He didn't want his mind to go there but it was starting to. What if she was already…

_Dead._

The thought made him work frantically. He pushed everything aside in his mind and continued to work at the seatbelt. A few more tries and the seatbelt finally came undone. He breathed a sigh of relief. He used the last of his strength to push himself towards her. The whole time his body was screaming at him to stop, but he had to push himself to be near her. At close examination her injuries were far worse than what they seemed. The gash on her forehead was causing her hair to become sticky with blood.

"Ziva." He whispered cradling her head in his hands. Blood started to stick to his hands, but he didn't see that. He just saw her. He tucked her hair behind her ears, looking at her beautiful face. "Please open your eyes and look at me." He pleaded, hoping she would. He got nothing from her. He felt like his heart was shattering into a million pieces and there was nothing he could do about it. He stroked her cheek lovingly, hoping by some kind of miracle she would open her eyes.

He didn't want to check her pulse. He wanted to believe she was alive and not already dead. He wanted to know that she was still here. Hopefully she was hanging onto life by a thread, but that would mean she was still alive. He just didn't want to think about the fact that she could be dead. They had gone to hell and back. They had dealt with far worse things than this. They were always able to come back from it all and it wasn't going to end here. _Not now, not ever._ He knew he had no choice but to check for a pulse. She wasn't responding to him at all. He silently said a prayer to himself.

"Please, please don't be dead." He whispered. He shakily took two of his fingers and felt for a pulse against her neck. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt a pulse. It was weak, but it was a there. It still meant they still had a future together. They would get through this mess together.

He could hear the sirens in the background. Giving him hope that everything was going to be okay. He gently took her small hand into his larger one and squeezed it. He wanted her to know that he was here. He would always be here. He loved her and always will. "We are going to be just fine." He whispered, squeezing her hand just a little bit tighter for reassurance.

She felt like she was dying. This is what death must feel like. Her whole body was in pain. More importantly her forehead was throbbing. She felt like every inch of her body was on fire. She could smell blood everywhere, causing her to feel deathly sick. She was willingly her eyes to open, but she couldn't just yet. She was scared because she couldn't remember what happened. She felt like she couldn't move. She felt like something was crushing her chest and her breathing was getting worse. She must be dying because she sure as hell felt like it. Someone was calling her name. She could hear a voice. Someone was holding her hand. She could feel the warmth from their hand. She willed her eyes to open, blinking a few times so her vision would clear. It was then that she saw him. His hazel eyes starred lovingly into her chocolate brown eyes. It was him. _Tony._

She smiled at him and he smiled back. She looked past the glass and the blood. Just looking and focusing her attention on him. She tried to shift towards him. She needed to touch him, making sure she wasn't dreaming. She winced at the pain shooting up her back. She tried to reach for him, but it was too much for her. She groaned and leaned back in her seat, hoping the pain would go away. She just wanted to curl up in a fetal position and make the pain go away. She just wanted to be near him and touch him. She couldn't even do that. It was that complicated. She felt the tears forming in her eyes, before they started to fall.

"Hey. I know it's a lot to take in, but we are going to be okay." He wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face. "Just try not to move around much. Help will be here soon." He smiled, before kissing her on the cheek.

She melted under his touch, before speaking. "What…happened?" It was hard on her just to speak.

"You don't remember?" He asked looking at her. She shook her head. "There was an accident, but the paramedics are almost here. So we just have to hang on for a few more minutes."

She simply nodded. She shut her eyes for just a moment. She was thankful that he was the one beside her at a time like this. She wouldn't want anyone else in a moment like this to keep her calm.

"Ziva?" He questioned her, while squeezing her hand a bit tighter.

"Hmmm…?" She opened her eyes briefly to look at him.

"What were you going to say? You know before the accident."

"I was going to say…I…love…you." She smiled through the pain.

He smiled back at her. "I love you too." Those three little words made their hearts melt. They both knew they meant it because they both loved each that much. They could always get through the bad and come out on the other side just a bit stronger than before. Nothing was ever going to stop them. They were invincible.

It was then the paramedics arrived. Help was finally here. Somehow they had managed to get both Tony and Ziva out of the car safely and into the ambulances. Sure it was going to be a long recovery for the both of them, but they would be doing it together. It was a miracle they were even both alive. They had been through way worse situations, but it proved that it only made their relationship stronger. They were finally going to be together and nothing was ever going to get in the way of that. They loved each other and they both knew it.


End file.
